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Today, January 12, I turn 50. 50 years old! It seems like an odd age to be. I think it’s because in my head, I still feel like I’m in my 20’s. I’m sure lots of folks have thought this. Now my body on the other hand definitely feels 50…or over!

I don’t freak out over birthdays. I didn’t stress about 30 or 40, but 50 has officially freaked me out. It’s not the actual age…I realize you’re only as young as you feel. I think it’s that I always thought my life would be in a different place at this age. Not that I don’t love my life! I’m truly lucky. I just thought a few things would be different.

I have no doubt that everyone has that one birthday that makes them reflect on their life. For me, 50 is the birthday. Everyone’s life is different, but I thought at this age I’d be married with kids. Or at least married. Or at least in a stable relationship. LOL! Big NO on all mentioned.

I found out at 35 I couldn’t have kids. My last marriage was a nightmare. And my last relationship was definitely not stable. Not that anyone has to have anything particular at any age, or be at a certain stage in life, I just thought some things in my life would be different.

Reflection is odd for me because I’m a “keep on going” kind of chick no matter what. Maybe it’s the birthday, my most recent breakup and some other events that have happened lately that has made me a bit bummed about this birthday.  I think I thought I’d be more of a “grown up” at this age if that makes sense. LOL!  Maybe I should feel thankful that I’m not.  I mean, true adulting can be a total pain!

As with any moment of reflection, my stress and anxiety will pass. I will say that turning 50 allows me to share this skit. This was one of of my favorite SNL skits with Molly Shannon. Good stuff!

Sally O'Malley's Rockette Open Audition - SNL

Sally O'Malley (Molly Shannon), a colorful 50-year-old dancer auditions to be a Rockette. After impressing the choreographer (Danny DeVito) with her signature "kick, stretch, kick," Sally dances with the real Rockettes. [Season 25, 1999] #SNL Subscribe to SNL: Get more SNL: Full Episodes:

Enjoy! I’m gonna go eat some cake and see if that helps. Can’t hurt, right?!  Have a great week!