Moment With Mel: Damn I’m Tired
I totally realize that I am lucky. My breast cancer was caught early and I don’t need chemo. WHEW! Right now, I’m on week three of radiation and I gotta tell ya, I’m just damn tired. This is me being honest, not whining. Ok…maybe a little whining.
Every weekday I go to radiation. It doesn’t take long and the staff at Caromont Cancer Center in Gastonia is amazing! I heard from many folks before I started radiation that it can wear you out. I’ve tried to be positive and grateful that my cancer was caught early, but damn I’m tired.
Being single makes it a bit harder. When you’re married or when you have a partner, life can be easier at times. Sometimes it’s just nice to come home to dinner ready or the dogs walked and fed. Working, doing all the house stuff, cooking, going to radiation, and trying to eat right and sleep enough is exhausting.
There are three ladies I am friends with on Facebook, all battling breast cancer. Their path is so much harder than mine. I feel guilty for being tired or for wishing I had someone around to help me a bit. I realize I’m not the only woman to handle stuff solo. After going through so much drama with my neck surgery and the staph infection, I try not to complain to family and friends. They’ve definitely had enough of my health issues this year. And honestly, I’VE had enough of my health issues this year!
Maybe the radiation is hitting me harder since I’m still technically recovering from the neck surgery. I’m still on antibiotics too due to the staph infection. I started them in January and am taking them until February 2022. Ugh! And having an autoimmune disease probably isn’t helping me either. All I know is: I’m just tired.
Women stress too much in general, and I’m no different. On top of the neck stuff and breast cancer, I’m trying to lose weight. It’s amazing how quick menopause and too many pints of Ben & Jerry’s will make you fat! I don’t think I realized how much weight I really gained over the last few months until I saw myself in a work video. So embarrassed.
Again, I know I’m so lucky that my cancer path is as short as it is. I know it could be worse. But sometimes, it’s just nice to say I’m just tired.
To all the women that are struggling, with a health issue or otherwise, I see you. For all of the ladies raising kids solo, working, and trying to have a life, I see you. If you’re just having a tough time getting through the day right now, for whatever the reason, I see you. Sometimes you just need to be acknowledged. I get it.
Thank you for listening. The support and kindness from listeners and from people I’ve never met before has made this journey so much easier. Staying positive is so important, but sometimes you just have to say: Damn. I’m tired.
