Bill Maher: Why Aren’t Romantic Relationships Allowed In The Workplace?
Last week, Bill Maher devoted almost eight minutes on his HBO show to a topic that has befuddled me for years: Why are consensual romantic relationships so taboo in the American workplace? More specifically, Maher challenges the idea of banning office romances between supervisors and subordinates.
In the Real Time with Bill Maher segment, the comedian explains that people spend a lot of their time at work and, as they get to know their colleagues, they could fall in love. He’s right. It only makes sense that you’re more likely to connect with a person you see on a regular basis.
Ime Udoka
Maher brings up the recent season-long suspension of Boston Celtics head coach Ime Udoka for an “improper, intimate, and consensual” relationship with a subordinate. The team calls it a violation of their code of conduct. If Udoka was somehow abusing his power, that would definitely be a problem. However, Maher says if the relationship was truly consensual, it’s nobody’s business.
In fairness to the Celtics, they may be right to part ways with Udoka. The coach was engaged to actress Nia Long at the time of this workplace relationship. On top of that, he has a ten-year-old son with Long. There’s also an accusation of Udoka using crude language toward the other woman. Sometimes people lose jobs over their character, or lack thereof.
Sleeping with the Boss
Bill Maher names other high-profile cases of people being punished for having consensual relationships. Former CNN chief Jeff Zucker was ousted for having a consensual relationship with another executive at the news channel. It didn’t appear to cause a problem in the day-to-day running of the network.
How about an example that could have altered the course of history? If there had been no love in the workplace when Barack Obama met Michelle Robinson, Maher suggests they might never have tied the knot. The former president was literally his future wife’s intern when they began dating.
Bill Maher also points to the consensual relationship between Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde. They got together while she was directing him in the film Don’t Worry Darling. The movie was completed and released, and Harry and Olivia are still very much a couple. Life goes on.
Phil and Sara
My 23-year marriage is the product of an office romance. Sara and I met while we were working for the same broadcasting company in Austin, Texas. Technically, we were not supposed to date, according to a lightly-enforced corporate policy. Also, Sara was in management. I was not. That never caused any problems because our relationship was consensual and no abuses of power ever occurred.
Thankfully, the company treated us like responsible adults and never interfered in our courtship. Many of our bosses even came to the wedding. If Sara and I had not pursued our relationship, I might still be on the dating scene. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.
To Date or Not to Date?
I don’t always agree with Bill Maher but I do about this. Why shouldn’t two consenting and available adults be allowed to pursue a healthy romantic relationship with each other? I mean, isn’t it better to have happy employees? Of course, there’s always the risk of a breakup, which could lead to some employee turnover, but people change jobs all the time for all sorts of reasons anyway. Just ask your H.R. director.
What do you think? Should office romances be off-limits? Has it ever caused a problem where you work? Did you ever date and/or marry a co-worker? You can see Bill Maher’s entire monologue HERE. But be careful! While dating a coworker might be acceptable at your office, Bill’s language probably is not.