Moment With Mel: Here’s A Perfect Example Of Why I Don’t Date Anymore
My friends keep telling me I need to write a book, and after this incident, I think I should. Usually, if a guy I’m dating lies or cheats on me, I’ll call them out online or on-air. Using names is uncool and I’m not trying to get sued! But folks are usually familiar with who I’m dating. My last relationship ended over three years ago, and I’ve kept quiet about it. The dude I dated has a kid and I didn’t want to call him out in case his child listened to our station. I’m over that now!
So, here’s what happened over the weekend. My mom calls me Sunday night around 9:30 p.m. As a general rule, she doesn’t call that late, so I figured something was wrong. She proceeds to tell me that a woman called her, asking questions about my last boyfriend. Her relationship with him is ongoing, and she’s now questioning what he’s said to her. She was asking my mom questions about his beach house, his job, our time together, etc. She then tells my mom that this dude says he ‘didn’t date me’ and that we were roommates. My mom explained that he was lying and told the woman he was mentally disturbed.
When I broke up with this guy three and a half years ago, it was because his whole life was a lie! He lied about what he did for a living, about his past military experiences, his beach house, and other women in his life. Now, I should have paid attention to the glaring red flags at the beginning of our relationship, but I didn’t. And that’s on me! This guy isn’t my type, but as Phil can attest, he came across as a nice guy. Wrong!
To make a long story short, in the year or so that we dated, he was seeing other women. In addition to cheating, all the things he told me about his life were lies. For instance, the beach house he says he has at Holden Beach is owned by someone else. I’m guessing he found pictures online of a beach house and says it’s his. NOPE!
The woman that called my mom found her number on this guy’s i Pad. Not only was she calling my mom, but she was calling other folks that are in this guy’s life. And I don’t blame her! She was being played by this guy, as I was, and wanted a reason for his lies. Now when I confronted this dude years ago about all his BS, all he did was cry. He couldn’t give reasons for all of his stories that were not true. Having dealt with this type of person before, I just said my peace and kicked the dude out of my apartment.
On Monday, I got the woman’s number from my mom and called her. We chatted for over an hour, and I confirmed her suspicions about this guy’s stories. Sadly, she’s not the first woman to reach out to me about this guy. When someone’s life is a complete lie, you want to know why! I truly felt sorry for this woman as she was heartbroken and mad. And I was the same way when I dumped this guy!
What’s this dude’s endgame? ANY woman he dates will eventually find out about his lying. This woman wants a WHY and I get it! However, when dealing with someone this wacky, sometimes you just have to walk away without knowing the why.
After chatting with this woman for a bit, I told her I haven’t dated for almost four years. After breaking up with this crazy, I decided that was it for me. I attract crazy! I’ve seen a therapist, wondering if I’m the problem! The therapist explained to me that there are just a lot of crazy people in the world. She also says that I trust to easily. In addition, she says my kindness can be a negative as I give people too many chances. I also try to see the best in people, and sometimes they don’t have a ‘good’ side!
I am aware that there are lots of great people in the world and I truly don’t think all men are bad. But after my experience with this jackass, I just decided I needed a break. And that’s ok! My heart goes out to the woman who is the latest ‘victim’ of this lying dude. She seems very bright and strong and I have no doubt she’ll get over this guy, as I did. It just pisses you off when you waste time on someone that’s not worthy. Karma will catch up to this man and I hope it’s soon!
