How Lilly Jay’s Divorce from Ethan Slater Helped Her as a Therapist
Lilly Jay, Ethan Slater’s ex-wife, broke her silence about their public divorce. Jay, a clinical psychologist specializing in women’s mental health, wrote an essay for The Cut about the public downfall of her marriage. She discussed Slater’s relationship with his Wicked costar, though she did not name them. However, recent news has reported that it was Ariana Grande.
Missing Being Invisible
In the first part of her essay, Lilly Jay wrote, “No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”
She also mourned the loss of her invisibility because in spite of being married to a celebrity, Jay managed to keep her life private, “In this season of shock and mourning, over a year after the end of my marriage was made public, I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for myself as a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health.”
How the Public Divorce Helped Lilly Jay’s Profession
Jay saw how her experiences might help her patients. She wrote, “Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours. Knowing what you now know, I can say with both personal and professional authority, you are so much stronger than you assume. Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward.”
When the divorce news broke, Lilly Jay referred to herself and son as “collateral damage” and that Ariana is “not a girl’s girl,” per Page Six. Fans have speculated that Grande is the reason for the divorce. However, Slater told GQ, “Obviously, it was a really super big year and I think there was something that was really difficult about things in your private life being commented on and looked at by the public. There were a lot of big changes in private lives that were really happening, so it’s really hard to see people who don’t know anything about what’s happening commenting on it and speculating, and then getting things wrong about the people you love.”
Meanwhile, Grande in an interview with Vanity Fair said, “The most disappointing part was to see so many people believe the worst version of it. That was definitely a tough ride.”
