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Super Sale: Store Let Customers Steal If They Could Outrun Olympic Sprinter

Author Phil Harris
Meba Mickael Zeze of France competes during the Men's 60m Round 1 Heat 1 during Day 2 of the European Athletics Indoor Championships at the Atakoy Arena on March 04, 2023 in Istanbul, Turkey. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images for European Athletics)

If you’ve been to an Atlanta Braves game in the past couple of years, you’ve probably seen “The Freeze” in action. He’s a Jamaican sprinter named Durran Dunn who dresses in a full-body spandex suit and races against fans around the warning track. If the fan wins, they win some prizes. They usually don’t win. A store in Paris recently borrowed a page from the Braves for a promotion of their own.

According to the Washington Post, a Parisian boutique called Distance launched the “ROB IT TO GET IT” promotion for one day only and got a lot of attention for it. The idea was that customers could keep whatever they stole if they were able to outrun a professional sprinter as they fled. Distance happens to be a running store, so it did make some sense.

This was no easy task for would-be thieves. The professional sprinter was French Olympian Méba Mickael Zeze (top), who has run the 100-meter dash in under 10 seconds. So how did it go? Out of the 76 customers who ran out of the shop with merchandise in hand, only two were able to get away with free stuff.

Were those two people really faster than the Olympian? Probably not. It was more of a technicality. One man and one woman made it across the street just as the light at the crosswalk turned red. Even Olympic sprinters know to “cross at the green, not in between.” Still, it was good publicity for the store.

Phil Harris is 50% of "Phil & Mel in the Afternoon" on K104.7. He has been with the station since 2013 and on the air in Charlotte since 2000. Before coming to the Queen City, Phil worked for radio stations in Pittsburgh, Austin, and Seattle. In addition to the weekly "Throwback Threesome" music video feature, Phil writes about things that matter to Charlotte sports fans and pet owners. He happens to be both.

Drafting The Ultimate USA Flag Football Olympic Team

The International Olympic Committee has officially approved adding Flag Football to the Olympics starting at the 2028 Summer Games in Los Angeles. With the news and the NFL season six weeks deep, there’s only one thing left to do. And that is to mock draft what the ultimate USA flag football Olympic roster would look like.

While we are unsure what the limitations will be regarding players who can participate, we do know the 2028 Summer Olympics does not overlap with the NFL regular season.

Sure, we are still over four years away, and it’s hard to predict which athletes will dominate the NFL by then. However, on the heels of this exciting news, it’s only appropriate that we envision a flag football Dream Team.

I’m talking about the Jordan’s, Magic’s, Bird’s of today’s NFL that would be as culturally appealing as the 1992 USA Basketball Team.

Before we build this mega all-star Olympic flag football team, let’s give a nod to lacrosse, baseball, softball, and cricket for also getting into the 2028 summer games.

What To Know About Flag Football

“This is a no-contact sport with ‘tackles’ made by removing one of three ‘flags’ – more akin to fabric belts – attached to the ball-carrier’s waist with one on each side and another at the back,” Olympics.com explains.

Though much of the offense is passing, running plays are permitted except when the offense is five yards or less from the end zone. Other rules to note are that teams are typically 12 players total. Five players are on the field at a time, resulting in a five-on-five (offense vs. defense).

The NFL has long been a proponent for flag football, even hosting championships at the Pro Bowl. Furthermore, the NFL all-stars participated in this style of all-star game competition.

For our 2028 flag football Olympic Dream Team, we will build the roster by the following categories. Quarterback (2), wide receiver (3), running rack (2), tight end (2), defense (3), and head coach.

  • Quarterbacks

    As with tackle football, this will be the most important position. Team USA will need a gun-slinger who can be incredibly precise and consistent, given the lack of defensive line sack pressure. Of course, these two players must be well-suited to handle being the center of attention. Essentially, “The face of the franchise.” At 28 years old, Patrick Mahomes is a given. The second spot is the more challenging to fill. Here, I had to consider the game being four years in the future. Though Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts, and Josh Allen made it difficult, the second QB goes to Caleb Williams. The USC Heisman Trophy winner is assumed to be the first overall pick in the 2024 draft, and is already a marketable, household name (and in every Wendy’s commercial).

     

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    A post shared by Patrick Mahomes II (@patrickmahomes)

  • Wide Receivers

    Here’s another crucial part of the team. I’m looking for speedsters who have great hands. You can’t mention speed and the NFL without Tyreek Hill. “Cheetah” gets a spot, teaming back up with his old Chiefs captain, Patrick Mahomes. He also has been a big supporter of adding flag football to the Olympics (listen below). Next, Justin Jefferson is one of the brightest stars of the game, who continuously makes amazing catches. Lastly, let’s add in Marvin Harrison Jr. He is also a college player currently, who is destined to be a top-five pick in the coming draft.

  • Running Backs

    The running back position in flag football is quite different than tackle. While only one typically plays at a time, this player has to be able to catch short passes out of the backfield, read the defense, and occasionally take a toss the distance of the field. We are looking for fast and shifty guys who also have great hands. Let’s start with Bijan Robinson. The Falcons rookie has been incredibly shifty, making defenders miss while his feet move at a ridiculously quick pace. Christian McCaffrey gets the other spot due to his incredible ability to see the field and catch quick passes from the running back spot.

     

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    A post shared by Atlanta Falcons (@atlantafalcons)

  • Tight Ends

    McCaffrey’s 49ers teammate will land himself a spot here on Team USA. George Kittle is a big target with great catching ability. His biggest asset here will be how he is able to come across the middle of the field and challenge defenders to attempt to rip his flags. He’s a big body with incredible athleticism. I’m sorry Swifties, Travis Kelce does not get the second pot. With all due respect, he will be 38-years-old by this time. We will go younger here with 22-year-old rookie, Sam LaPorta. This Detroit Lions star already has three touchdowns this season and has been one of the best rookies to take the field. By 2028, this Lions team under Dan Campbell will have won a Super Bowl, so I’m banking on LaPorta being a well-known star by LA 2028.

     

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    A post shared by George Kittle (@gkittle)

  • Defenders

    This is a unique area of the roster as we seek out three defensive specialists. That means two offensive players will be expected to play defense as well. It’s common for a receiver to play both sides of the ball in flag football, lining up to cover as well. As for the three specialists, Sauce Gardner from the Jets makes the squad. He’s fast, has great coverage and ball skills, and takes up space with his size. Micah Parsons also gets the call here. He will be the biggest defensive specialist given he is an edge defender, but someone will need to take on the size and strength of tight ends. Parsons is often credited with being one of the best players today in addition to being internationally popular. Lastly, we’ll go with safety, Minkah Fitzpatrick. You need someone who understands the importance of not letting anyone behind you and being the deepest man on the field. Plus, it just seems right to have Pittsburgh Steelers represented in the first football Olympics.

     

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    A post shared by Micah Parsons (@_micahparsons11)

  • Head Coach

    I’m going out on a limb here with one of the most respected ambassadors of the sport over the past 20 years. Drew Brees. Though Brees doesn’t have a ton of coaching experience to this point, he has been very vocal about his love of flag football. Brees will get the respect of his players while also handling the responsibility of being a professional in a global sports environment. Brees is smart, was a relentless worker during his time in the league, and knows the sport like the back of his hand. Just listen to his message here. You can feel his authentic passion for the opportunity and just know that he is right for the gig.

     

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    A post shared by Drew Brees (@drewbrees)

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