Happy National Tell A Joke Day…From Dad
John Pratt/Keystone Features/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
August 16th is National Tell A Joke Day. As a dad…with jokes…I feel that it’s my duty to contribute to the celebration. Here are some “Dad Jokes” that will make you either laugh, groan, think of your dad, or all of the above:
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent!
- What takes longer: going from 1st base to 2nd base or from 2nd base to 3rd?” Answer: Going from 2nd to 3rd, because there is a shortstop in between.
- Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato are walking along the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato starts getting really angry. So, he turns around, squishes Baby Tomato and says, ‘Ketchup!’
- What kind of exercises do lazy people do? Diddly Squats.
- Why can’t bicycles can’t stand on their own? They’re two tired.
- What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel.
- What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? “You’re too young to smoke!”
- What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park, man.
- If two vegetarians are arguing, is it still considered beef?
- What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
- A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’
- Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
- How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
- A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
- Why did the man lose his job at the calendar factory? He took a couple days off.
- I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
- Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.
And of course…
- Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9.
Phil Harris is 50% of "Phil & Mel in the Afternoon" on K104.7. He has been with the station since 2013 and on the air in Charlotte since 2000. Before coming to the Queen City, Phil worked for radio stations in Pittsburgh, Austin, and Seattle. In addition to the weekly "Throwback Threesome" music video feature, Phil writes about things that matter to Charlotte sports fans and pet owners. He happens to be both.
Get The K Files Newsletter Delivered Directly To Your Inbox
You'll be in the know on music and entertainment news, exclusive giveaways, and what's happening in right here in Charlotte.
By clicking "Subscribe" I agree to the website's terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I understand I can unsubscribe at any time.