Ode To Lost Socks And The Ones They Left Behind
It’s that time of year again. Time to pause and remember the once great couples divided by fate, leaving one behind while the other departs the known world. And to where? Behind the washer? Inside the dryer vent? The great hamper in the sky? That is the question!
May 9th is National Lost Sock Memorial Day, a time to reflect upon all of the single socks we may never see again. They’re not hard to remember because their twins are still with us. Half of my sock drawer is inhabited by orphaned hosiery and I can’t bring myself to evict any one of them. Their loss is already so much to bear. I feel I owe it to them to provide a sanctuary for their remaining days.
I don’t even repurpose my solo socks. National Day Calendar offers various options for a second chance at sock life, such as putting a tennis ball inside with a knot to make a simple dog chew-toy. That sock won’t last long, will it? Less destructive alternatives include:
- Use as duster, shoe polishing cloth, or car-cleaning rag.
- Fill with rice and make a door stop.
- Open up both ends of a long sock and make a plastic bag holder.
- Turn them into sock puppets.
I could also choose to wear mismatched socks, but that’s not my style, and I’m not sure they would like it either. Socks are particular about their partners. No, I prefer to let my one-offs live with quiet dignity, albeit inactively, and with the hope that their missing mates might turn up one day.
Who’s to blame in all of this? My dog has been known to make off with the occasional sock, but pets account for only a small percentage of cases. It’s not the missing sock’s fault that its mate was abandoned. They’re all victims. Many point to the washer. Others to the dryer. Come on. We’ve all looked in, around, under, and behind our appliances. We’ve shaken sheets and blankets, beach towels and duvet covers. Something else is at play. Something, perhaps, beyond our comprehension.
While we don’t know what happens to the socks that leave us, we can still honor their memory and support those left behind. So on this National Lost Sock Memorial Day, let’s all pour a little fabric softener for the socks we may never see and wear again.
Here’s to those that warm our toes,
And cover our feet with style.
Where one sock goes nobody knows,
Dress sock, tube sock, lonely argyle.
